Flaking and fuck it both have an underlying belief that I am only going to hurt myself if I do this. I don’t think I had seen that connection previously. Thank you. Who would I be if I really embraced how connected I am to everyone I meet and the planet I live on?
The end of last week I was feeling overwhelmed, and rescheduled a talk I was supposed to giving in a very friendly venue this week. It was the thing that could give, and would keep me from blowing up other things. It was not quite enough (I was imagining being just a little too sick to proctor things Monday night), but it was the safety valve that has kept me able to meet the things I've said I'd do.
I was raised in an absolutely-no-quitting household, and it's taken time to identify that, and keep the parts that are valuable (we show up for the people we've committed to whenever we can), and jettison the parts that were more like setting myself on fire to keep others warm.
Yes, holding the complexity of both-and. I appreciate the nuance here of discernment: how can I hold a value around commitment and also take care of my sweet self when I am beyond capacity, or to prevent going beyond capacity.
I hope the post reads that way, since in no way am I reinforcing a culture of pushing through or enduring.
I feel so much less crazy about the Bay Area flakiness mentality and people’s lack of time or interest. I am so done taking it personally. Thank you, you’ve just freed me of so much wasted energy overthinking things!
Flaking and fuck it both have an underlying belief that I am only going to hurt myself if I do this. I don’t think I had seen that connection previously. Thank you. Who would I be if I really embraced how connected I am to everyone I meet and the planet I live on?
Your comment helps me see this connection as well.
The end of last week I was feeling overwhelmed, and rescheduled a talk I was supposed to giving in a very friendly venue this week. It was the thing that could give, and would keep me from blowing up other things. It was not quite enough (I was imagining being just a little too sick to proctor things Monday night), but it was the safety valve that has kept me able to meet the things I've said I'd do.
I was raised in an absolutely-no-quitting household, and it's taken time to identify that, and keep the parts that are valuable (we show up for the people we've committed to whenever we can), and jettison the parts that were more like setting myself on fire to keep others warm.
Yes, holding the complexity of both-and. I appreciate the nuance here of discernment: how can I hold a value around commitment and also take care of my sweet self when I am beyond capacity, or to prevent going beyond capacity.
I hope the post reads that way, since in no way am I reinforcing a culture of pushing through or enduring.
Oh, the post definitely reads that way. I was riffing, and making the connections as I wrote between the prompt from last week and this week's post.
I feel so much less crazy about the Bay Area flakiness mentality and people’s lack of time or interest. I am so done taking it personally. Thank you, you’ve just freed me of so much wasted energy overthinking things!