How to call your power back
because it's you, boo. You're the one with Power!
News Flash: I’ve spent the last three years writing a novel.
Hello! It’s a huge accomplishment, to finish that first draft. And second. And well, by now, I’m on #7.
But writing is just the beginning of bringing a book into the world.
Trauma Queer is a darkly funny suspense with supernatural elements. Big tech is inciting and harvesting queer trauma as a source of renewable green energy.
The unsuspecting LGBTQ+ community of San Francisco is the beta test!
With the help of queer ancestors, a haunted house, and the power of their chosen family and community, they must expose the sinister plot before, well, you know what happens if they don’t.
But this post isn’t about my novel. (You can listen to a smidge here if you want.)
It’s about power.
First, a bit of book publishing context:
If you want to traditionally publish a book of fiction with a big five publisher (which I do), you need an agent.
An agent is the person who pitches your book to editors and hopefully sells it for a bunch of money.
In return, they get a 15% cut of your advance.
They are a realtor for your manuscript.
They know the editors, have the connections, and know the ins and outs of the industry to help protect you.
You cannot pitch to a large publishing house if you don't have an agent.
I'm in the process of trying to get an agent.
First, you do a lot of research about who represents work like yours and has had success selling it.
Like scrolling through online dating profiles to hopefully meet the love of your life.
Next, you write a query letter which is exactly like writing your own dating profile.
I've probably put 30 hours into writing my query letter.
The goal of querying is to get a request for a full manuscript. Well, that's the first goal anyway.
When querying agents for a full manuscript request, a good response rate typically falls between 5% and 15%.
Let's do some math.
Because you have to research each agent, their best sellers, their completed deals, and how much they've sold, and then because you have to customize your query for each agent, I'm finding that I spend 2-3 hours per query I send out.
On average, many authors send between 50 to 100 queries before securing an agent.
So, even if I get lucky, I will spend 150-300 hours to find the agent.
My writing coach, T. Thorn Coyle, is brilliant.
They are no bullshit, clear seeing, and both very woo, and completely pragmatic.
Recently, in a session with them, I told them about my query process.
I told them I'd received a rejection, and it had me wobbling about the quality of my novel.
They got mad on my behalf.
"Let me remind you, this is a bullshit system. You are not going to agents with your begging bowl out. The thing you are offering has value. And, they work for you! They get paid from YOUR work! You are hiring an employee, not grovelling for 'representation.'"
Whoa.
At that moment, the world spun and reconstituted itself so I could clearly see what is going on.
An agent works for me.
I am hiring an employee.
It’s like sorting through resumes and checking references.
I know how to hire employees!
My coach reminded me that the system is set up to make it SEEM that the agents and publishers are the ones in power.
But they are not the creators, bringing through the work of imagination.
They are not the generators of the work.
Creativity is power.
An entire industry is built on my creativity.
Without me and other writers, they do not exist.
This is another example of capitalism trying to flip the script, claiming power when, in fact, the power is mine.
As a person whose body has given birth to children, I know this power in my bones.
The power of creativity is beyond what any industry can claim or profess to own.
Remembering where the power lies is crucial.
Thorn said that the energetics of the thing means I need to be in my full power, recognizing the full value of my work, when I'm querying.
If an agent I offer the job to says no, it's because they are not the right employee for me.
The right employee feels like a good fit, an ease, a flow.
When I've hired good employees before, I knew it throughout the entire process.
I was never talking myself into anything because it looked good on paper, or had to convince them I was the best boss for them.
It felt right, to us both.
Ironically, I have a nightly practice calling my power back to me.
I lie in bed and imagine it flowing from wherever it is in reverse, back to me and my body.
When my writing coach told me to call my power back, I laughed so hard that they asked what I was laughing about.
"I teach this shit to other people!" I managed to choke out.
When I walk in the mornings, I listen to Love + Joy's beautiful prayer, "I call my power back."
How easy it is to miss the places we give our power away.
Thank Goddess for coaches.
It took my coach to help me see it.
But as soon as I saw it, BOOM!
I call my power BACK.
Choice Practice: In last week’s post, I pretended ChatGPT was my best friend. I asked you to consider who you wanted to be more vulnerable with and why. I’m curious what came up.
This week’s practice is to look with gentleness for somewhere you give your power away. Notice, and decide what you want to do about it.
Write it in the comments!